https://isocpp.github.io/CppCoreGuidelines/CppCoreGuidelines...
https://isocpp.github.io/CppCoreGuidelines/CppCoreGuidelines...
std::reference_wrapper still can’t save you from yourself, but it’s better than violating the first link and ending up in this limbo that OP is talking about.
See also: https://youtu.be/YxSg_Gzm-VQ (about 3:30 in)