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0 pointshintymad1y ago0 comments

> For the kids themselves, cities are wonderful and suburbs are often a kind of prison

I grew up in a mega city and I agree that cities are wonderful for kids, at least they were wonderful for me and my friends. I'd venture to guess that kids don't care. Cities or not, the world is just so much fun and exciting.

I don't know if suburbs are prisons for kids, though. My kids love suburbs, and they also love cities when they spend days and nights there.

It's not that parents falsely think that cities are bad for kids (it may be a factor for some people, of course), but that parents themselves do not want to live in a busy city. For instance, I have zero interest in bars or clubs. In fact, they are way noisy for my social needs. Instead, I just want to have walking distance to woods and shaded trails. And I want to have access to those large club houses that have full gyms and swimming pools and cozy libraries and all kinds of activity rooms, instead of those smallish ones in SF (probably because I'm not wealthy enough, but that's also my point). Or take Asian supermarket for another example. There are really not that many choices in SF or NYC. Even for the available ones, let's say H Mart in NYC, I really don't like the cramped space. I want to have those spacious walkways and shelving and big food court and etc.

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hintymadOP1y ago

> Suburbs can be prisons if there’s not enough people your age around you. I lived in semi-suburbs and had friends I’d walk to after school. Makes it more fun than having to organize car dates until someone gets a car. But nowadays kids are so supervised I don’t know if they hang outside anymore

Totally. There seem fewer kids in the neighborhood than before too. Play-date is such a suburb concept for the US kids. As a kid, I used to hang out with neighbor kids, sometimes more than a dozen, every day. Not any more for my kids in the suburb. To that end, I admire my Indian friends. Even during the most panicking days of Covid, they would organize weekly meetups of multiple families, so kids got to play together.

jacobr11y ago

That seems like both a generational and cultural thing, vs a urban/sub-urban consideration. Prior generations in the US had kids just hangout with whomever in the neighborhood be it urban or sub-urban too. Playdates are probably just as common in urban areas now, the cultural change wasn't specific to the built-environment.

bluGill1y ago

There are less kids outside, but that is just because families are so much smaller on average and there are less kids.

mapt1y ago

> And I want to have access to those large club houses that have full gyms and swimming pools and cozy libraries and all kinds of activity rooms, instead of those smallish ones in SF (probably because I'm not wealthy enough, but that's also my point).

Club houses? What are we talking about here? Country clubs? Our society is largely devoid of the fraternal organizations that colored 18th and 19th century social life, and the social isolation of not having any 'third places' to go is in fact one of principal complaints about suburbia.

TuringNYC1y ago

>> Club houses? What are we talking about here? Country clubs? Our society is largely devoid of the fraternal organizations that colored 18th and 19th century social life, and the social isolation of not having any 'third places' to go is in fact one of principal complaints about suburbia.

I think they literally mean "Club house" -- the shared services center for the housing development. High-rises often have them, large developments have them.

In NYC, our high-rise had a reading room, yoga room, gym, entertainment center, as well as a paved playing area for building residents inside building premises. People met each other regularly at these places and socialized. This is very common (minus the paved playing area, which is rare.)

In the burbs we also have most of these, and also tennis courts and a pool.

Many of these served as a "Third Place" for residents, especially once you have kids because it isnt as easy to hang out elsewhere. Unlike previous centuries, I'm constantly on my phone or on call explicitly or implicitly, at least in my profession, so social clubs seem unrealistic, though I know the wealthy folks go there regularly.

seanmcdirmid1y ago

This is either something in a luxury apartment building or an amenity you pay for via an HOA in a condo.

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hughesjj1y ago

> I don't know if suburbs are prisons for kids, though.

Personally, I grew up in a suburb that didn't have transit and it was miserable. I barely saw my friends until I got a car. Every time I go back with my lady it's miserable for both of us because, besides family, there's just nothing there but some cookie cutter parks. There was one historical park that's still nice but its also a mile away from my mom's house and there's inconsistent sidewalks (it's either take a much longer route or risk walking alongside a 1 ft wide shoulder with a 35mph speed limit and curves.

I suppose it heavily depends on the suburb.

hughesjj1y ago

> Instead, I just want to have walking distance to woods and shaded trails.

Most places that have woods at all also have this.

Golden gate park+presidio in SF, discovery+arboretum+Seward+ a bunch more in seattle, central park in NYC, fairmont park in Philly are all places I've loved walking/biking around (and to).

dayvid1y ago

Suburbs can be prisons if there’s not enough people your age around you. I lived in semi-suburbs and had friends I’d walk to after school. Makes it more fun than having to organize car dates until someone gets a car. But nowadays kids are so supervised I don’t know if they hang outside anymore

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0 pointshintymad1y ago0 comments

> For the kids themselves, cities are wonderful and suburbs are often a kind of prison

I don't know if suburbs are prisons for kids, though. My kids love suburbs, and they also love cities when they spend days and nights there.

0 comments

hintymadOP1y ago

jacobr11y ago

bluGill1y ago

There are less kids outside, but that is just because families are so much smaller on average and there are less kids.

mapt1y ago

TuringNYC1y ago

I think they literally mean "Club house" -- the shared services center for the housing development. High-rises often have them, large developments have them.

In the burbs we also have most of these, and also tennis courts and a pool.

seanmcdirmid1y ago

This is either something in a luxury apartment building or an amenity you pay for via an HOA in a condo.

2 more replies

hughesjj1y ago

> I don't know if suburbs are prisons for kids, though.

I suppose it heavily depends on the suburb.

hughesjj1y ago

> Instead, I just want to have walking distance to woods and shaded trails.

Most places that have woods at all also have this.

Golden gate park+presidio in SF, discovery+arboretum+Seward+ a bunch more in seattle, central park in NYC, fairmont park in Philly are all places I've loved walking/biking around (and to).

dayvid1y ago

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