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0 pointsbradlys1y ago0 comments

> My suggestion is get a hobby that you explicitly are interested in, but don't go in with an expectation that you'll find someone, or make that your primary goal.

The issue here is that you need to have hobbies that are explicitly good for finding partners. For instance, I love riding motorcycles. I am happy to do group oriented aspects of the hobby like track days or group rides, etc. The amount of women in that activity is near zero. The same is true for cars. It's almost entirely men. Even if you say there's 10% women showing up - that's still a horrific 9:1 ratio.

I find it super annoying because my hobbies are so masculine and male dominated. I have to actually go out and do things that I'm not really that passionate about or interested in as a way to meet women - and then I have to be really good at said hobbies.

Fortunately, I am someone who is able and willing to suffer through things that I don't enjoy for a goal but it is going to contradict all the most popular advice out there of "do what you love and love will follow". It's just simply not true. All the women I've met were through activities or hobbies that I had no real interest in doing. I was simply doing them to improve my odds in regards to dating women.

Who cares if you're interested. Just do the fucking work.

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__turbobrew__1y ago

What I find interesting is that it seems like the vast majority of hobbies are male dominated, maybe this is not true and a bias of my world view. All sports are male dominated to the point where female only activities are sanctioned, anything around collecting, games (board games and video games), cars/motorsports, woodworking, metalworking.

The only hobbies I know of that are female dominated is Yoga and crafts. All the others are more evenly spilt between the genders (like book clubs, dancing, cooking, gardening). If you are looking to find a romantic partner the majority of people who are into crafts are married.

I don’t know if there is any evidence to support or refute my claims, but that is how I see things.

I do agree with you that if you want to find a romantic partner of the other sex you should optimize your activities. Unless you are gay or a woman you will never meet a romantic partner at the local car meetup or magic the gathering tournament.

8f2ab37a-ed6c1y ago

That's been my experience as well, glad I wasn't the only one to notice.

dragonwriter1y ago

> it seems like the vast majority of hobbies are male dominated, maybe this is not true and a bias of my world view.

I think it is pretty strongly the latter.

> All sports are male dominated to the point where female only activities are sanctioned

No, they aren't, and gender-specific sporting activites are not because the activities are, as hobbies, male dominated.

> The only hobbies I know of that are female dominated is Yoga and crafts. All the others are more evenly spilt between the genders (like book clubs, dancing, cooking, gardening).

Pretty sure that most of the things you list as "more evenly split" are pretty female heavy. Dancing certainly is, ranging between female-heavy in the forms which would ideally be balanced (most partner dancing -- particularly things like amateur ballroom competition; male amateur comp partners are always in high demand), to wildly female dominated where balance matters less, to, well, pole.

werid1y ago

curious how that works out. you start dating, stop doing the hobby you're not really interested in, but she continues, and finds out you were only in it to find a date?

bradlysOP1y ago

Super common. Seen this happen a lot with some hobbies that I've pursued. The men will show back up when/if said relationship dies (after all - it worked the first time). A lot of women do this too. They might've had a genuine interest but it wasn't sufficient to keep them going.

For some of the hobbies I have, you'll find that there's very few single women but a massive amount of single men.

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