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0 pointsClosi1y ago0 comments

You are right - it's a balance and definitely a matter of taste.

Although not-ornate doesn't necessarily mean dead-simple or bad. For instance compare the following:

> The reverberations of the trumpet stirred the knights from their deep repose, igniting a tumultuous awakening.

With a very similar sentence from Tolkein:

> At that moment, among the trees nearby, a horn rang out. It rent the night like fire on a hill-top. Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

This is much less ornate, with simpler language, yet easier to parse and the image is much more vivid.

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danenania1y ago

From a writing perspective, I think much of it is about “weighting”. If you make every line ornate and full of adjectives, then nothing stands out.

Therefore for not-so-important details like “the knight woke up” that are just about giving the reader necessary info to follow along, it’s generally better to put less weight and emphasis by stating it plainly. This way when you do add emphasis to make the reader visualize a crucial scene or situation, or describe emotional states at these moments etc, they will jump out as being special rather than just more of the same.

In my experience, every great writer follows this pattern, though they begin at different baselines. It’s fundamental to good writing, just like creating attention hierarchy is fundamental to good graphic design.

nonethewiser1y ago

That's a good example. I agree the imagery is strong with the Tolkien example. It also struck me as how you might say it if you are verbally telling the story. The "among the trees nearby" interlude and the successive exclamations at the end.

sigbottle1y ago

Exactly. Even though I understand every word of this quote

> The reverberations of the trumpet stirred the knights from their deep repose, igniting a tumultuous awakening. With swords unsheathed and hearts ablaze, they clashed in a thunderous symphony of war, each seeking to claim dominance over the waking realm.

there's a distinct feeling of disconnect, I guess? That language feels much more appropriate, when say, you're on top of a mountain and admiring the beautiful landscape around you. Tolkein's words capture the urgency and adrenaline of war with his simpler sentences.

I suppose I'd need to see the context behind the original quote; in a historical lore recap, I'm more happy with that quote.

(Not going to pretend like I know precisely what's different as it's all subjective, but I suspect the mood you're trying to go for heavily impacts your writing choice)

pandemic_region1y ago

So when there is less ornate and difficult language to parse for the brain, there are more cycles available for imagination? Indeed z a thin line to balance.

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