Women in the west are choosing, quite reasonably, to hook up with the top 20% of men and ignore the rest. I'm not saying that as a blame thing - I don't blame them, I might make the same choice in their position. But the result is that the bottom 80% of men have practically no options - and no, lowering their standards doesn't help, it's not a problem of having potential partners they don't want, it's a problem of not having potential partners at all. I wish we could at least be honest about this rather than victim-blaming.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-...
Yes I know that not all women are heterosexual. But I also didn’t include women who are in a heterosexual relationship but are not living with someone.
It’s statistically impossible for only 20% of the men to be in a relationship or having sex.
> It’s statistically impossible for only 20% of the men to be in a relationship or having sex.
That's a backward-looking number though. Look at how fast the lines on your link's graph are dropping, and what that implies the rate might be among the newest cohorts.
From my original citation:
> Among those ages 25 to 54, 59% of Black adults were unpartnered in 2019. This is higher than the shares among Hispanic (38%), White (33%) and Asian (29%) adults.
https://www.pewresearch.org/2023/12/04/wealth-gaps-across-ra...
Many people don’t want to get married until they are financially stable.
(On a side note: I had no idea that there was such a disparity between Black weslth and White wealth and I’m Black).
Ignoring race, but males aren’t doing as well financially as in the past and they may have something to do with them dating less and getting married less often.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/link-between-mens-height-divo...
Tall men were found to marry sooner in life, but were more at risk for divorce later on, as shorter men had more stable marriages. However, researchers note that the link between short men and stable marriages could be because they chose to marry later (or didn't have the option until later). Tall men were also more likely to marry women closer to their age, and who were better-educated.
Ive been living abroad the past few years and it was night and day. in america, intimacy was a rare thing. outside the country, I've had zero issues finding partners who I find extremely attractive. Some of my well meaning friends back home warn me that they are "only interested in money" but I've never spent more than a meal at a decently priced restaurant for two. My current gf is significantly hotter than women who reject me back in the states and the only expensive thing about her is her love of instax photography. (that film ain't cheap, learn from me and do not get one of those cameras for your gf)
TLDR: if western women arent' interested in you, do everything you can to be able to sustainably live outside the bubble.
Personally, I don't want a woman that works because I travel and I'd rather she travel fulltime with me. However, in my experience, latinas and asians are some of the hardest working women you'll ever meet. They seek out education and a lot of them want careers. they just arent' super entrepreneurial. Thats more about the culture they come though. people in the third world get drilled into their heads the importance of getting the right certifications. Once you get that shrink wrap off, you'd be surprised how many do start thinking about starting their own businesses.
> Most of those women would already be in the US if they were interested in such a path to begin with.
I couldn't disagree more. most latin people dont' wanna come to the united states. they value family and community more. Besides, the united states is notoriously difficult to come in legally. I'm trying to get my gf a visa and the application process requires a full interview, a year of waiting AND a nonrefundable fee. its not a surprise to me at all that people try to come in illegally.
So I was downstairs at my hangout spot at the bar where I’m good friends with the bartender. A group of us started talking and this 45 year old lady who was attractive, a lawyer, multiple paid off properties, with two small kids going through a divorce and she was saying if she gets serious about someone, it would have to be someone who could pay all of the bills so if she didn’t want to work, she didn’t have to.
But if she did work, her money was her money. She would use it to buy for her kids, help her family (aging parents mostly). Her husband shouldn’t expect “her” money to be used for household expenses. Funny enough, I have a cousin who is in her early 50s also a lawyer with her own practice, divorced with two grown children and a 14 year old who feels the same way.
She wants to be able to stop working. You would be surprised at the number of self sufficient American women who really don’t want to work.
For me personally, I’ve been married since I was 38 and my wife was 36 and we agreed for her to stop working when I was 46 and she was 44.
First I didn’t want her working during Covid in 2020 and then after Covid we started traveling a lot including a year of doing the “digital nomad” thing flying one way across the country. I had just gotten a job that was paying 7x more than she was making.
She has her hobby/passion projects that bring in a little money. But that’s about it.
