I agree on your criticisms of Erb and ActionView. I'd add that Erb is just really noisy jumping in and out of Ruby with <%= %> constantly. I'm regularly running down basic errors in producing well-formed HTML.
I'm still only experimenting a little with Phlex. I'm not sold on some of its design like the distinction between views and components, but maybe that's a practice/docs issue. I'd also like to see a performance test that's not a microbenchmark and I may try to make one this month. Similar to your note about haml, I've told the project devs that I'd be really encouraged by a phlex -> erb tool to reduce the perceived risk of getting locked into the dep.
EDIT: Oh, and I read the phlex code because I have similar experience outliving a dep. The library is ~1,600 loc with same again in tests. There's a little metaprogramming in SGML::Elements I dislike but it's not a dealbreaker. The library is small and straightforward enough that I'd be surprised if it broke without going unmaintained 5+ years, and I'd be fine maintaining a private fork for a year or so while migrating off.