Sure, but your data is only getting relayed through DERP servers if it cant otherwise establish a direct p2p connection. This can usually be resolved at either side of the connection - if you know about it (which is what the parent was suggesting could be made more clear).

As for your bandwidth concerns in the case of needing to relay, you can even set up your own relay (https://tailscale.com/kb/1118/custom-derp-servers), which would satisfy your desire to be more centralised (i guess you could force all traffic through it, but cant think why you would want to) while still allowing the flexibility of the overlay that tailscale provides.