I was a RubyMine and later IDEA user for many many years. I agree with everything you've said but I got so tired of the IDE using excessive RAM and constantly making my fan spin (2019 Intel MBP). Switching to Zed made my experience on this laptop enjoyable again, the downside being that I miss out on some of the features from the JetBrains editors.
I've learned to work around the loss of some functionality over the past 6 months since I've switched and it hasn't been too bad. The AI features in Zed have been great and I'm looking forward to the debugger release so I can finally run and debug tests in Zed.