Even that doesn't hold onto it. It just inflates the value of the remaining stash, and effectively "donates" it to all other holders.

Of course, if the keys are later found, then you crash everyone out.

You don’t hold onto it. It’s just lost when you die.

Heaven has no bitcoin ATMs.

In theory, doesn't that just distribute the value to all other Bitcoin holders? I dunno. It's hard to think about the value of something this abstract.