As you have seen in the post (did you read it, dear reviewer?), references on the first page where unhelpful, so 1) comes already with a caveat.
And so on.
I think the social game view is at this point entirely justified, and there is nothing cynical about it. And no, academia does not still work.
A given "structure" is also ridiculous, and part of the problem. Once you care more about the form than the content, form is what prevails.
The truth is: To understand a paper properly, you need to deal with it properly, not just the 5 minutes it takes to skim the first pages and make up your opinion there already. Fifteen pages is short enough, and if you cannot commit to properly review this, for a week or so of dedicated study, just don't review it. We would all be better off for it.