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0 pointsKarrot_Kream10mo ago0 comments

I went to a poverty level school, my partner went to one of the most elite schools in the US. My friends are also stuck in poverty or the lower-middle-class while my partner's friends seem quite conventionally successful. But several of my partner's friends are quite frustrated with their career choices. They feel like they were hemmed into high-prestige careers. A lot of them are not particularly successful in their careers because they don't feel the passion to succeed and feel like their choices were taken away from them. Many of them have very anxious memories from school of perpetually feeling like they were failing because of the high pressure of the school.

There are many aspects of my low-income schooling I would not want to pass onto a child but there are also aspects of my partner's schooling that I wouldn't want to pass either. I don't really know what the answer is, but I feel like being at either end of the normal distribution of schools here isn't good.

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ketzo10mo ago

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

Karrot_KreamOP10mo ago

You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy. I'm only being a bit silly here, a pretty high number of these folks are in therapy dealing with the alienation they feel over their life for being forced into a career path they felt like they had no choice in.

bradlys10mo ago

You say this like the people in poverty are any happier. They're not.

The people from these rich schools that go on to have lives where they have ample money and resources are also likely more capable of overcoming emotional struggles.

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ketzo10mo ago

I mean, at some point this is a way-too-abstract point with no real answer

But being in therapy and alienated from your life, but rich, is not comparable to being actually poor, to not being able to provide for the people you love, to not being able to meet your basic needs. I’m sorry, but it’s just not.

Let alone the fact that, trust me, lots of poorer people are alienated from their jobs/lifestyle too! They just can’t afford the therapy!

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BizarreByte10mo ago

> You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy.

The only people who wouldn't prefer that are ones who haven't endured true poverty.

I have little sympathy for those folks unhappy with their conventionally successful lives when that same kind of life allowed me to escape. When you grow up without basic needs being met they come off as having a severe lack of perspective.

I mean sure I hate my job, but I like having heat in the winter more than I hate my job.

apsurd10mo ago

This is too easily a soundbite. Sounds good so people say it.

It's only true at the extreme ends though. Reliable access to food and shelter is a prerequisite so let's get that out of the way.

I do worry that "rich people problems" are in ways worse problems to have. They're sinister and they cut deep. People become utility functions. Inability to form or even understand authentic relationships. Hamster wheel of self-worth being tied to capitalistic productivity: also paradoxically management hijinks . Existential crises. Law of diminishing returns. There was a post about what the rich have access to that others don't. Takeaway was actually not much, not in physical goods at least.

Stuff like that.

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0 pointsKarrot_Kream10mo ago0 comments

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ketzo10mo ago

It’s certainly true that there are real downsides to both ends of the spectrum — but all things being equal I’d rather be wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills than tissues

Karrot_KreamOP10mo ago

bradlys10mo ago

You say this like the people in poverty are any happier. They're not.

The people from these rich schools that go on to have lives where they have ample money and resources are also likely more capable of overcoming emotional struggles.

1 more reply

ketzo10mo ago

I mean, at some point this is a way-too-abstract point with no real answer

Let alone the fact that, trust me, lots of poorer people are alienated from their jobs/lifestyle too! They just can’t afford the therapy!

1 more reply

BizarreByte10mo ago

> You say that, until you start spending those hundred dollar bills on therapy.

The only people who wouldn't prefer that are ones who haven't endured true poverty.

I mean sure I hate my job, but I like having heat in the winter more than I hate my job.

apsurd10mo ago

This is too easily a soundbite. Sounds good so people say it.

It's only true at the extreme ends though. Reliable access to food and shelter is a prerequisite so let's get that out of the way.

Stuff like that.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse