I'm not sure that's quite true. Men tend to talk and joke in a different way to women, which they then modify around women or be punished. The main difference between an old-school Personnel department and a modern HR department is HR is (self-)tasked with making sure the environment is always suitable for women.
Men have very few places, if any, where they can just be themselves, unmodified. And when those places exist, large shaming campaigns and marketing appear to tell them off and to entice women into them.
The Overton Window moves. It narrows and widens. That isn't the same as being unable to be yourself.
I agree that men should be socially allowed to have spaces where women are excluded and society does sort of tend to look down on that kind of thing, but I also think that in a world where many professional environments are still male dominated some sensitivity to the exclusion of women is warranted.
I mean plenty of jobs out there are still 95% or more occupied by men only.
In term of total gender segreation in the work force, about 15% of men and women work in gender equal profession. The majority, both men and women, work in a job where their gender outnumber the other gender by 2 to 1 or more.
A common finding in studies conduced on this statistics is that gender segregation occurs also within a profession. Teachers is used as the typical example where gender segregation occur on both subject but also on level. It also get worse as people advance in their careers, with each "step" on the ladder being a point where the minority gender decrease.
I see what you mean. To clarify: I meant as a group, rather than as individuals. I appreciate there are smaller-groups that also can't be themselves somehow, but if that's a sin, then perhaps the larger group not being able to be itself is a larger sin.
Extra funny hat women should be excluded so men can talk about feeling lonely and how they wish they had a woman.
Unfortunately, there are many women who react this way, so the cycle continues. I don't necessarily blame women for this, it's more about the social expectations for men, the moment they violate that expectation and are "punished" for it, they follow it to the letter, because they then know what happens if they don't.
Women want men to be emotionally open as it applies to supporting them. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but let's call a spade a spade.
But in any case, it's not the traditional role of whatever women happen to be in earshot.
My experience has taught me trust and safety are important to women. Sometimes a man is not in his best state ready to provide that solid rock feeling. It is generally not a good situation if a woman feels she is bigger or needs to be bigger than the man and can't put herself in his hands safely.
No it isn't! Men need to talk about their feelings just as much as women! There isn't some major difference in how we handle emotions!
We are all human, and humans are emotional creatures.
So many men need to Grow the Fuck Up and realize that being vulnerable is not the same as being weak. You need to be talking to your friends or confidants about your feelings.
>To feel otherwise is not "masculine"
Wrong. If you need to project a constant air of competence and stoicism and power, you are insecure and emotionally stunted.
I blame media honestly. Watch what women protagonists in American media do compared to male protagonists. Watch how male characters just do not talk through their feelings and emotions to other men, except as essentially a crisis point. Watch as women characters are much more likely to talk about how they felt about something.
Meanwhile, outside the US, male characters are allowed to have feelings. The Doctor is an insanely emotional man, full of complicated feelings that he is constantly having to face, and yet is portrayed as a man of immense power and prestige.
What male role model to American men have that portrays emotional development as a good and important thing?
You are categorically wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be further from the truth.
Men process emotions differently than women do. A real, biological difference. There is a reason why men don’t cry at the end of titanic. And to imply men are somehow emotionally stunted because they don’t emote like a woman does, is not only wrong but is harmful.
> vulnerable is not the same as being weak
Go read a dictionary. Showing vulnerability is the same thing as showing weakness and society shuns and shames weak men. There are reasons for that, and men have every incentive not to show weakness.
Yes there is. It isn't some societal thing either. It's ingrained deeply in biology. Saying men just need to be like women is asking them to go against their nature.
I... I've never heard this before, and it is in stark contrast to decades of my personal experience.
> You need to be talking to your friends or confidants about your feelings.
What do you mean "need to"?
