Hmm, "cloudfail" is already in use, and "cloudfuckyou" while descriptive is profane enough that it will cause unnecessary friction with certain people, and "clownflare" is too vague/silly (and is less applicable to other service providers).

So I propose "cloudfart" - just rude enough it can't be casually dismissed, but still tolerable in polite company. "I can't access your website (through the cloudfart |, it's just cloudfarting at me)."

Other names (not all applicable for this exact use): cloudfable, cloudunfair, cloudfalse, cloudfarce, cloudfault, cloudfear, cloudfeeble, cloudfeudalism, cloudflake, cloudfluke, cloudfreeze, cloudfuneral.