If I trade in my phone, I want my trade-in offer now. Instead, the full value of whatever trade-in deal provided is split over 36 months as bill credits.

While the new phone might actually be “free” in one of these promotions, it’s not, naturally, because you’ve been thrown into a 36 month installment agreement separate of the cellphone service they’ve sold you on (that they also claim is “price locked” while independently raising surcharges and other fees).