Ask HN: Proud-Brag, Humble-Brag or No-Brag?

1 pointsstillworks6mo ago11 comments

Was in a FAANG recently but quit due to

A) Likely burn out

B) Have been wanting to try something out on my own as well

This was the first time for me in a FAANG and noticed one new joiner young colleague had this personality trait of being overtly overly positive about everything they were involved in and they did and making it a point of making it known to all of the universe. Not saying they didn't deliver or were not smart, instead quite the opposite. But goes without saying, all the positivity being projected, personally for me was a bit tiresome.

In the manager's mind I think this created an expectation for similar behaviour from the not-so-young members in the team (a.k.a me) I suspect another team member switched team immediately due to this.

In mid-40s I have little hope that I will find another job (can still grind leetcode but...) and have been thinking about getting into another line of work altogether.

But coming back to the main topic. What do rest of the people around here think about this...

1) Has "The Brag" become a requirement in tech world these days? I wasn't expecting this in a FAANG and didn't experience it until the above described events but then that did definitely change things around for me and I guess for others too.

2) If it is a requirement then what strategy/tactic works best ? Being an introvert, how do I adapt.

(I will be speaking to a therapist as soon as I get employed again but since I am living off savings currently I am resorting to "free" sources of advise)

11 comments

ThrowawayR26mo ago

The FAANGs have always been environments where peers are significantly more in competition against each other than in ordinary employers, particularly for those in their early career where "either up or out" is the rule. It's undoubtedly much more vicious now that tech companies are actively laying off those seen as low performers. Making sure you get credit for what you've done, as long as it's not overdone, is a survival tactic and the rewards can be immense if you can stomach it.

This isn't unique to tech companies; academia is known for similar things, e.g. "publish or perish". High-competition environments breed dysfunctional behavior unless well managed.

PaulHoule6mo ago

Yeah, I was watching an interview with left-wing economist Robert Reich who dismissed that a lot of working class and minority people liked Trump because they harbor their own ambitions of social mobility.

Reich said that was all bullshit and there was no social mobility, but that's the attitude of a professor who got his start when it was a lot easier to break into academia -- since then he's seen many many people enter the bottom of the funnel and very few make it to the end.

Contrast that to people in the construction business who probably know two Italian brothers who escaped a failing agricultural economy in the south of Italy and bought a bulldozer and made a reputation for themselves putting in sidewalks or curbs or the Polish immigrant who grew his construction empire and wound up owning 50 medium-sized apartment buildings or the guy who went to architecture school, made it big in asbestos remediation and deconstruction and is now moving into advanced manufacturing. These entrepreneurs aren't distant figures like Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg but rather the kind of people I meet at birthday and graduation parties because their kids play on the same sports teams as people who work as accountants, hairdressers and jobs like that.

Getting a PhD and being Jewish or Black are two things that, like Reich, are likely to make you think life is a zero sum game:

https://socialeconomicslab.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/ze...

gsf_emergency_26mo ago

Aside: Do you know Reich's son is CEO of College Humor?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Reich

>In 2000, Reich dropped out of Buckingham Browne & Nichols School as a result of clinical depression and in order to pursue acting.

I'd say getting a STEM PhD has different mobility defects than being black/italian & being Jewish compensates for those (as in, one is conditioned to pass on valuable stuff to your kids that aren't always backed by hard assets or knowledge)

As another (negative) example, Ben Shapiro probably didn't get the skills required to deconstruct his forebear's world-models but he got the leg up in terms of getting his mediocre ideas heard (albeit he has actionable insights about meaning vs motivation that got drowned out in the "nepotic noise")

apothegm6mo ago

There are more people in the social media generation than earlier generations who are comfortable doing this. Still a relatively small percent. Don’t draw conclusions about the entire professional world based on the dynamics of a single team.

PaulHoule6mo ago

I don’t if you were in the home of OKRs but things like OKRs, stack ranking and high stakes performance reviews put that kind of person in the driver’s seat.

stillworksOP6mo ago

I believe most of FAANGs are indeed like that ? (I was in the stack-ranking kind)

So more likely it is a requirement after all ? I say it to be a requirement because definitely not my personality trait or a skill... so something I need to figure out how to do (depending on if there are more of such team members wherever I land next, if it all in a tech job. Even if there is one such bright spark then they start creating the expectation for others. My manager quite clearly let that out not quite literally but not hard to read between the lines)

PaulHoule6mo ago

If you're doing your own thing then you are probably going to have to self-promote even more than you would in a FAANG kind of company,

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Ask HN: Proud-Brag, Humble-Brag or No-Brag?

1 pointsstillworks6mo ago11 comments

Was in a FAANG recently but quit due to

A) Likely burn out

B) Have been wanting to try something out on my own as well

In mid-40s I have little hope that I will find another job (can still grind leetcode but...) and have been thinking about getting into another line of work altogether.

But coming back to the main topic. What do rest of the people around here think about this...

2) If it is a requirement then what strategy/tactic works best ? Being an introvert, how do I adapt.

(I will be speaking to a therapist as soon as I get employed again but since I am living off savings currently I am resorting to "free" sources of advise)

11 comments

ThrowawayR26mo ago

This isn't unique to tech companies; academia is known for similar things, e.g. "publish or perish". High-competition environments breed dysfunctional behavior unless well managed.

PaulHoule6mo ago

Getting a PhD and being Jewish or Black are two things that, like Reich, are likely to make you think life is a zero sum game:

https://socialeconomicslab.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/ze...

gsf_emergency_26mo ago

Aside: Do you know Reich's son is CEO of College Humor?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Reich

>In 2000, Reich dropped out of Buckingham Browne & Nichols School as a result of clinical depression and in order to pursue acting.

apothegm6mo ago

PaulHoule6mo ago

I don’t if you were in the home of OKRs but things like OKRs, stack ranking and high stakes performance reviews put that kind of person in the driver’s seat.

stillworksOP6mo ago

I believe most of FAANGs are indeed like that ? (I was in the stack-ranking kind)

PaulHoule6mo ago

If you're doing your own thing then you are probably going to have to self-promote even more than you would in a FAANG kind of company,

1 more reply

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse