It makes it very powerful but very disorienting and experience gained with one part of it often does not really prepare you for other parts. Usually each specific tool was created by someone who used it immediately, so it's all reliable in its way. But there is a lot of redundancy and odd gaps.
Elixir's almost extreme attention to naming, organization, and consistent convention is almost as far as you can get from this approach too. It's fun to have them in the same ecosystem and see that there are actually pros and cons to each approach.
Of course, there are some changes that you need confidence in before you push, but for lots of things, a bit crashy as an intermediate step is acceptable.
As for understanding the OTP stuff, I think you have to be willing to look at their code. Most of it fits into the 'as simple as possible' mold, although there's some places where the use case is complex and it shows in the code, or performance needs trumped simplicity.
There's also a lot of implicitness for interaction between processes. That takes a bit of getting used to, but I try to just mentally model each process in isolation: what does it do when it receives a message, does that make sense, does it need to change; and not worry about the sender at that time. Typically, when every process is individually correct, the whole system is correct; of course, if that always worked, distributed systems would be very boring and they're not.
Because it's possible to do hot code reloading, and since you can attach a REPL session into a running BEAM process, running 24/7 production Erlang systems - rather counterintuitively - can encourage somewhat questionable practices. It's too easy to hot-patch a live system during firefighting and then forget to retrofit the fix to the source repo. I _know_ that one of the outages in the previous job was caused by missing retrofit patch, post deployment.
The running joke is that there have been some Ericsson switches that could not be power cycled because their only correct state was the one running the network, after dozens of live hot patches over time had accumulated that had not been correctly committed to the repository.
I had thought there was a way to get the currently loaded object code for a module, but code:get_object_code/1 looks like it pulls from the filesystem. I would think in the situation where you a) don't know what's running, and b) have the OTP team on staff, you could most likely write a new module to at least dump the object code (or something similar), and then spend some time turning that back into source code. But it makes a nice story.
[1] https://www.erlang.org/doc/apps/kernel/code.html#get_object_...
I generally agree with you that learning Erlang stuff can be daunting.
I will say that many things worth doing are not easy! Erlang and the whole OTP way of thinking is tough to learn in part because it is genuinely different enough from everything else that is out there that one's odds of being familiar with its conceptual underpinnings are low.
If you have trouble learning Erlang (and OTP specifically) it's not because you're dumb, it's because Erlang is different.
Learning Erlang is not like learning any other dynamic language you've learned. Learning Erlang is closer to learning a bespoke operating system designed to build reliable low-latency long-running systems. It's a larger conceptual lift than going from one dynamic OOP language to another dynamic OOP language.
Two things that definitely helped me understand were reading the somewhat-dated-but-still-useful material on the topic in Learn You Some Erlang, as well as reading through the "OTP Design Principles" section of the Erlang System Documentation.