I don’t mind being admonished by a magistrate for my mad behaviour, but being required to attend what boils down to nonsense treatment theatre is a bit much.

Anyone who’s enough of a sociopath to intentionally park like a jerk knows the right things to say to appear repentant.

I wonder what Germans think of this waste of time / money / effort.

Freedom of movement is the relevant right. That's why you may need a certification to operate a vehicle above a certain level of dangerousness. But you can't be denied that certification unless you have done something that makes it impossible for you to be a safe operator of that vehicle. Vehicles for commerce are treated differently. Your mileage may vary but that's the theory of those laws in most places.