I agree with what you’re saying while also thinking you’re underestimating the appeal of the destruction he’s leading them to.

It’s easier to tempt someone into getting a pizza with you than starting a diet, because pizza is more fun than diets. All that to say: the same mechanisms by which the alt-right is tempting people with cruelty aren’t going to be as effective when employed towards pro-social activity.

The problem is that we have been giving their kind the kid glove treatment for too long. We haven't even begun the iron flove treatment for them. They go about running their mouths blabbering incoherent nonsense turning themselves up into a frenzy and you think about "understanding" them. There is no understanding those who actively hate sanity, the only correct approach is to relentlessly mock their kind, protect your family and friends, stay armed and carry always, stay clear of these unpredictable and violently insane as much as possible, avoid giving them business, etc.

I don't think I disagree much with what you said, but frankly I think that is a task for other people.

I am exceedingly impatient with this kind of stuff, from people that I think should know better. I try to avoid these arguments now entirely and live in my happy progressive NYC bubble.

No doubt that diplomacy with this stuff is necessary but I don't think that that's something anyone should want me specifically for.

At least in my case, I have just cut off contact with her.

My parents are pretty decent people so I still talk to them a lot, but I can't deal with my grandmother anymore. If she thinks my wife (who was evidently on a Green Card at the time she said that) doesn't deserve to be here, she's allowed to think that, but she's not entitled to me being nice to her. I weighed my options and it came down these three choices: a) swallow my pride and roll my eyes and let her continue to be a racist sack of shit towards my wife, b) push back on the stuff and constantly argue, greatly upsetting my mother, or c) cut off contact to avoid this.

For someone like me option A really isn't a viable option, and and of the remaining two C seemed like the best.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have principles; that grandmother is ridiculously rich, and I likely could have wormed my way into the inheritance pretty easily. If anyone doubts that I believe in my principles just remember I turned down being a potential millionaire because I refused to yield on what I think is right.