My education and experience matter exactly squat. And have not ever mattered in my 24 years of career.

I know I've done a lot of things wrong but I can't spend the rest of my life beating myself over it. Trying to find a way to attack the problem from different angles. But it's impossible with a hugely demanding job and my fear of being let go and how generally terrible the market is for niche-ish languages (like Elixir that I work with; I am pretty good at Golang and Rust but have not actively worked with them professionally in years; really went all-in).

So currently I am trapped. We'll see if I can figure out an exit. So far it seems mathematically impossible. If I don't change the game, I am toast.