> I know you're "just asking questions", but we all get the message you are sending here.

You seem to be mind-reading and assuming everyone who doesn't already understand things the way you do is acting in bad faith.

Like you, I am not much of a fan of victim-blaming, but you're reading the post in an extremely negative light. The poster literally concludes with "I just don't understand it." A more charitable way to interpret this statement is "please help me understand."

The first part of your response is informative, and I thought "interesting response." The second part is just nasty and I thought "wow, what a **." Do you want the poster to understand or do you just want to score points?

No, you're projecting your own arm chair therapist thoughts here. The victim may have perfectly valid reasons that they justify for themselves. That does not mean that I will understand it. Lots of things can be justified while at the same time not making rational/logical sense. Emotional decisions rarely do. I've never been in a relationship with physical violence, but I have been in relationships that have been toxic and mentally/verbally abusive on both ends. I now recognize them much faster with age and ruthlessly end them as soon as the fog of new relationship allows it to be recognized. Days since most recent end of relationship: 3