Yeah, it's still not impressive. The only thing that I'd say is impressive in response to the situation would be:
"Hi, CEO of Heroku here.
Sorry. We've been misleading customers and only telling the truth when pressed-hard for years. We've created this financial model for all of our customers who have been overpaying on dynos because of our shitty routing and will be reimbursing them based on that.
We've also rolled out a second dyno-tier, called "dyno with non-shitty routing". It's 10x as expensive, but at least we're being honest about it. All current customers will enjoy our "dyno with non-shitty routing" for the price they're currently paying for the next 2 years. Enough time for them to migrate away, like any reasonable person would expect them to after this."