I maintain that she should have recognized that risk. When you walk outside without an umbrella, you risk getting wet. When you and your boyfriend go into business without an HR department, you risk emotional trauma and possibly harassment. It still sucks to get wet, and it still sucks to be abused by your ex-boyfriend.

Choosing to venture outside without an umbrella does not put you at fault for the rain. Choosing to go into business with your boyfriend does not put you at fault for his emotional issues.

Is it victim blaming to advise carrying an umbrella when it might rain? No.

My point is that when she joined the company, there was a risk she would break up with her boyfriend and he would go batshit-crazy. That risk always exists. It's sad and unfortunate, but it's a risk.

She chose to take that risk, and is unfortunately suffering from its negative consequences. But taking the risk does not put her at fault for the outcome, and pointing out the risk does not put me at fault for victim blaming.

(By pointing out the risks of going into business with your significant other, I took the risk of being labeled a victim blamer. Does that make me responsible for being called a victim blamer? Mind blown)