I will punch your business in the mouth for $2000 (opens in new tab)

1. The "punch in the mouth" metaphor, violent images and vulgar language on your web page might appeal to "bro" types, but not so much to others. My guess is that you won't attract many female customers with this approach.

2. "I will be your opponent" is a curious metaphor for someone who I'd be hiring to help me. Most people would be looking for an ally, not an opponent, in a consultant.

3. I've never heard of you, so why should I believe that you know anything about my business? You say that you're the creative director of a startup, but that doesn't tell me anything unless I know that your startup is actually successful - failed startups are a dime a dozen. $2,000 (let alone $15,000) is a lot of money to spend on some guy on the web with no verifiable reputation.

One person doesn't know what the market wants before the market tells them. Even Steve Jobs, considered the king of knowing what the market wants without asking them, failed miserably at that game for years. VCs also constantly fail at it, even though it's their professional.

This is essentially a pre-Lean pitch. Pass.