That's not to say everyone is ruthlessly sociopathic. But only that the odds of turning equity into cash are lower than the odds of a startup having a successful exit and to suggest that it is quite possible for people to optimize their slice of the pie when the pie is filled with serious money.
Finally, on a $4 billion exit 0.7% versus 1% versus 2% isn't going to have a dramatic effect on your lifestyle. Same is true at $40 million.
Good luck.
Before joining seed stage startups, you should verify that whether the existing team can take the startup 100X or not. 1% of 100M exit is nothing but 0.1% of 10B is big deal. You should have interviewed with atleast 5 startups before taking the decision. I interviewed at quite a few startups and i had multiple offers and i finally got the best deal i can ever get. I know that this startup founders are impressive and they are nice and they will do well. But you have to move out of your comfort zone and talk with 5 more startups. Then you will come to know about the startup market.
Please use wealth-front chart to find out whether you are getting right deal or not. https://www.wealthfront.com/tools/startup-salary-equity-comp....
Use www.Offerletter.io to validate that your decision is right or not. They have really great people who knows the startup market better than us. It doesn't cost you anything unless you get 20% more equity during negotiation. Of Course, you will get more than 20% if you negotiate in any company. Talking to them was worth it!
Don't join startups whose selling point is that they will get acquired as well.
Also, if you don't know what's Double Trigger Acceleration now, don't just join startup anytime soon. Read about startups and contact lawyers who are expert in stock options. They charge $300 but they save you $300K - $3M.
P.S: I'm not an expert. But I took more time to decide between offers and it gained me 2X stock options and 1.3X salary to me.
I've had too many friends that got nothing after working months and even years at a job they hated hoping they would be able to cash out on their equity. I, myself, even got my equity liquidated to 0 after the CEO decided to completely dissolve the LLC and create a new one (A Silicon Valley trick talked about in the Social Network to push an undesirable partner out).
So, I would take the money every single time.