This is a throwaway so I can be dumb and learn stuff
Career/partial life bio
---
Mar 2026
Looking at another possible job, it's $10 more per hour which isn't a huge pay bump but something... I'm just nervous if it doesn't end well and I get dropped/need to find a new job again. I don't have savings/a lot of debt... but that's the thing, if I switched jobs and made more money I'd immediately start fixing my current problems. This one is fully remote too.
Feeling mentally overwhelmed, I have projects and no time to do them. Gotta wait for day job to end kind of thing.
Was at a happy hour, these managers were talking about using AI to summarize their reviews of employees which I said, I wouldn't be happy if I got an AI review, doesn't feel genuine.
So used to noise. Think about going outside? Headphones... podcast. Why not just walk in silence.
I did start realizing lately I have a pretty negative mindset. With regard to judgmental like "oh that's not how things normally are". Specifically about TV shows I'm a hater like Starfleet Academy I'm like "a crying Klingon? wtf" which I'm not a trekie but yeah. It's good to do new things, you could just spit out the same thing and it's like wow... what is the point.
Been doing good not drinking I'm like 40+ days in now. The main bad thing I'm still doing is speeding, went over 100mph a couple times recently, dumbass. It's the potentially going to jail bit that is bad. I at least only do it when I'm alone on the road and conditions are good but yeah.
I don't know if this is what it means to grow up even though I'm in my 30s, I'm just annoyed how I have to sit here and wait for this job 9-5 to end before I'm free to do something else. I put myself here, I know how to get out, it's just going to take a while.
I'm converted it seems like, going to start using Claude Code with Xcode mostly to save myself time, between my day job and a little startup, I still want personal time to do my own stuff. Save time learning a new tech stack.
Previous mental samples
https://pastebin.com/XqQ7rStx (Jan-Feb 2026) https://pastebin.com/KYN3SpMf (2025) https://pastebin.com/5xCTbGsu (2023 - Mar 2025)
