I think part of the problems you describe is the failings of the bluetooth stack in MacOS, not the Airpods themselves. I have had bluetooth device issues in MacOS on a brand new Macbook, and of course MacOS offers no advanced control options or access to underlying defaults it plugs into device and connection configurations, and there are forum posts about issues going back many years with no acknowledgement by Apple and seemingly no plans for a fix.
My main problem with Airpods is the physical design, which simply refuses to stay in my ears at all, rendering them totally useless, even if I'm just sitting relatively stationary at a desk.
My Samsung Galaxy Buds have been doing pretty well, though I just started having a problem where the left earbud is extremely quiet.