Ask HN: What is your experience with SSRIs?
I'm 27. For over 4 years, I've been in bed for 22+ hours of my day, browsing the internet from a smartphone, planning & daydreaming how I'd like my life to be, battling delusions & rituals. I went almost 3 years without bathing. I have not brushed my teeth in over 4 years. I feel like an old man when I get out of bed. I cannot perform the smallest & most basic of actions without my OCD & anxiety regulating & controlling me.
With all of that, I still hesitate to try this psychiatric medication as I fear it will lead to some sort of permanent degeneration or alteration to my cognitive ability, which I hold highly without any good empirical reason. As a layman, I understand serotonin to, in general, bring relaxation and contentment with your situation, perhaps carelessness.
I know that you must have a balance, but I don't want to feel content with my horrible situation, and these do not seem like qualities that endow a personality which is motivated to and succeeds in solving hard problems and thinking critically through life, but more of the stereotyped apathetic, careless, and blunted "zombie" effect that echos with experiences I've already read.
I'm not sure that I could forgive myself if this medication neutered or sterilized my brain. It's all that I have.