metamuas

I feel like I have zero work ethic. I do not know why. I want to work, I do not wish to feel awful about doing nothing, but I do nothing all the time. I do not care or feel respectful or grateful for having a job, and I do not know what to do. I am a terrible programmer, and I am unmotivated to become a better one, despite daydreaming about being a 10x programmer.

I remember watching a documentary on indie games, and the developer of Super Meat Boy showed how he just keeps a to-do list on a piece of paper, and I feel awful because I feel so incompetent I cannot work off of a simple to-do list.

What should I do?

Are there any tricks you can recommend to learning how to function as a normal employee?

How do I go from uncaring towards caring?